TV or not TV?

I’ve heard that toddlers love TV. Prior to G-man’s arrival, I read up on when they should watch and how to make sure the television didn’t stay on all day or lead to epic meltdowns when it’s off. I vowed to not let it be G-man’s babysitter.

Turns out, I shouldn’t have worried. He doesn’t like it! But in a weird twist of fate, I want him to. Not become obsessed with it but maybe find a few programs that he likes and would want to snuggle up to with me on the sofa when he’s ill or can watch to stop his mind or body from racing and settle down.

Every time I think I’ve found the answer, the victory is short-lived. He’ll like a show for a few days, I’ll set the DVR to record the crap out of it, and then suddenly turning it on will make me the meanest mom in the world. Who screams and cries when a fun cartoon is offered? My boy.

This has left me at a slight disadvantage. We couldn’t rely on a DVD to keep him happy on a flight last year because he had no interest in it. I can’t count on a few moments of boob tube joy when I need to make a client call. I don’t have a go-to showstopper.

The few things he will go for aren’t even normal kids shows. He doesn’t like most cartoons, preferring live action and of course, trains. Great Scenic Railway Journeys and Train Crazy Kids are still something I can pull out of my bag of tricks, but I’ve noticed lately that interest in these is fading quickly. He’s starting to cry when they come on or will only watch very specific scenes. I was really hoping these would last until after we travel this summer but things don’t look good for the passengers on US Airways.

You’re probably thinking I’m lucky. Through no fault of bad parenting, you may have a child whose eyes are permanently glazed and knows how to work On Demand way better than you. I certainly don’t want him to become attached to television, or even a certain show/character, but a minimal interest, a feeling of it being a novelty he can enjoy in special situations would be nice.

Be careful what you wish for? In a few months maybe I’ll be back complaining about how he won’t stop watching TV and that he thinks Dora the Explorer is his real mom.

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Lose the battle to win the war

Pick your battles. This is a consistent bit of advice I pick up from all the parenting mags and site experts. If your li'l guy wants to wear a tutu, on his head, everywhere he goes, let him. If your princess will only drink out of a green cup, make sure it's always clean and ready. Don't sweat the small stuff and you'll get more cooperation for the big stuff. This is supposed to cut down on tantrums and foster independence.

You know what? This actually make sense.

The G-man has to do a lot of things every day that he doesn't want to do simply because I said so. Sunscreen? Non-negotiable. Diaper change? Yep, it's happening now. Dinner? Pony up to the table. He's told he can't have his paci, can't have more juice, no climbing the couch, put shoes on, don't draw on mommy's desk, no train video right now, get in the car, get in the stroller, time for a nap, come inside, share with others...the list goes on and on.

C'mon, who wouldn't want to exercise a little control and make some choices for himself? It's my job to make sure he has those opportunities, whether or not it's the choice I would have made. (Um, within reason, of course! One caveat - if you give them choices, make all of the options something you are ok with. No chocolate vs. hamburger for dinner.)

One thing I didn't think about was to make sure your spouse agrees with which battles to fight and which to surrender for the good of the war.

Today, the hot button issue was G-man's choice of music in the car. Like many toddlers, he has an arbitrary and ambiguous decision chain that leads him to love and/or hate specific things and change his mind at the drop of a hat. (Note: he does not like hats.) This week, G-man is in love with one song, and one song only. He requests this be the only song played in the car and it must be on at all times. The good news? It's not a kid's song. It's actually some techno from Scott's ipod by DJ Tiesto. The better news? After a while, techno is really easy to tune out. And there is no need for mommy to have to sing along. Set the ipod to repeat and forget about it.

So while the DJ spun our morning trip to drop Scott off at work, there was a heated discussion in the front seats about whether or not G-man had too much control. My opinion - it doesn't bother me to play his song and it's a little thing in his day to make him happy. Scott's opinion - I'm letting a 2-year-old walk all over me. He even went so far as to say if G-man has discipline issues later, it's my fault (yes friends, this sparked another battle).

But really, who is right? If I give in to G-man on some of these things, like losing control of my radio and turning it over to a wee program director, am I doing him - and me - a disservice? Or is this one of those little battles that ultimately keeps peace in the kingdom?

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The water shortage of 2010

"G-man have a waaaa-ter?"

"Have a waaa-ter?"

"G-man have a water?! Waaaaa-ter?! Pweeeeeaaaaase. Waa-ter?"

Ok, 'fess up. Who taught my child to beg for water when he's supposed to be sleeping?

Seriously, I have no idea where this came from. Suddenly, the G-man is stalling for time and looking for attention by asking for water. This just started last week. The first time, we thought, huh, maybe he's really thirsty. But a little voice in the back of my head said uh-huh, this is the start of something.

And guess what? That voice was right. There's no sahara in his room, no immediate threat of dehydration, just a toddler that doesn't want to go to sleep.

Nap time, bedtime, the cry for water builds from the crib. A seemingly reasonable request at first, then escalating to an urgent demand, simmering down to a plea, and then, well, it just keeps coming. It's like he's channeling a camel.

And for the record, we aren't giving in. Except for Scott. He's the new water boy. As for me? I don't bring the H2O but I don't get the nap, either, just the screams until I finally declare the end of quiet (ha!) time and get him out. At which point he suddenly is quenched beyond belief and never mentions the water again.

But back to my original question, where did he learn this tactic? I've talked to his friends' mommies and they report the same phenomenon. But, c'mon, these kiddos aren't really pulling each other aside at the slide to compare notes and sleep-time strategies...are they? Scott suggested Parents Day Out is the culprit. Hmmm, nope. Don't think so. I can't picture his teachers putting up with 8 toddlers all clamoring for water from their tiny mattresses on the floor. Besides, I've been there at naptime. All is quiet, dark, snuggly. Not a sippy cup in sight.

That leaves...I don't know. If they are all doing it around this same age, without the benefit of a conference call, perhaps it's just an unlisted developmental milestone. What's next? Synchronized food strikes? Sudden dislike for the color blue? Only time will tell.

But I'll think about that later. Right now, I'm thirsty.

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