Change of perspective

Raise your hand if you were pregnant and heard this: "Oh, your life is totally about to change!" Well, duh! Who goes into this thinking adding a whole new person to the mix, one whose needs you are fully responsible for meeting, isn't going to change things? I mean, I know there's no licensing requirement to become a parent - good thing I didn't have to learn how to parallel park the kid - but c'mon, a little common sense goes a long way.

That said, keep your hand up if even after being annoyed by that comment, you've actually told a newly minted pregnant person about the life-changing event, too. Guilty here! Because it's the extent of the change that's mind-blowing. And it seems no amount of warning can prepare you for the staggering number of new things to come.

I knew I would lose sleep.  I knew the body I grew up with would go on permanent vacation. I knew we'd bleed money. I knew my free time would no longer be free. And on and on. The books don't lie, in fact, I think they aren't harsh enough!

But one thing that really surprised me was a fundamental change in my thinking.

Last night, a good friend of mine mentioned I should not read this month's book club selection because the subject matter is about an abducted child. Pre-baby, this idea wouldn't have bothered me at all. I mean, if you knew me then, you thought I was the last person to have a child. I was a vowed childless person, a champion for adult-only living. When the universe gave me the option of my share of a maternal instinct, I said no thanks and took extra helpings of sarcasm and cynicism. Then the G-man arrived and a little switch went on. 

I see things from his eyes now - both good and bad. The world is always new and I enjoy looking at something and thinking "G-man would like this." Maybe I'm a softie now, thinking of the little things in life to open his eyes. Or maybe it was just about time I stopped and took in the world around me to open MY eyes. 

The bad stuff really sucks, though. News stories about abused or abducted kids. Sad events in books that happen to children. Now I have a face and feeling to put to each of those and it kills me. Watching a movie one day, there was a baby left alone on a boat and screaming. Pre-G, I would have thought it was annoying and wished for it fall overboard. Afterwards, I couldn't stand it. I couldn't even watch the movie anymore. The idea of that happening to the G-man broke my heart. I re-read books from a whole new perspective and am crushed by what I discover the next time around. 

I used to be amazed at people that aren't moved by animal injustice, but I was guilty of being somewhat the same when it came to kids. It turns out, if you don't have one - be it pet or baby - you might just be missing the empathy connection.