Liar, liar, pants on fire

My britches are burning. That's right, I'm a big ol' liar. If the G-man knew how many fibs I've thrown at him, he'd never believe another word I said.

What? I'm not totally honest with my 2.5 year old? Uh, would you be? Besides, I usually use my tall tales for good. Well, good for me...

And really, this stage won't last long, but while it does I'm going to milk it. The G-man is just old enough to start to understand some concepts and reasoning, but not quite old enough to realize my powers are limited.

For example, did you know attractions open and close at my mere presence? Things like the zoo, the playground, the pool; they are only open if we are there and when we leave, they close. Sometimes, we leave because they are "closing" and if it just happens to look like people are still there, don't worry, they have to go home, too.

Speaking of the zoo, the animals - all of the animals - and the carousel and the tram have to take naps. We have been lucky enough to get there when they are awake but right around G-man's hypothetical naptime, they have a snooze-fest, too. We'll have to sneak out quietly so as not to wake them.

Gymboree takes a lot of naps, too. If we aren't there, it's because the entire playplace is resting.

Did you also know that biting a toy train hurts it? Or that only mommies can scrape the tomato paste out of can? How about that there are some candies you can only get on a plane? Or that the iPod randomly breaks and we can't listen to a certain song? Ok, that last one is sometimes real.

As far as G-man knows, I can control a lot of the universe. If only it were true.