The 10-minute Milk

Page 63 of the Toddler manual:

Ask your mommy for milk. No, juice. No, milk. Ummm...what? Milk. No, milk.

Let her get it out of the fridge, then declare you want to do it. This works best with a new gallon. Eventually "help" by placing one finger on the carton as she carries it over.

Wait until she pours some into a cup. Immediately, no matter what cup she has selected, request a different cup. If possible, go through the cups in the cabinet yourself. All of them. Try to finally choose a cup with a lid.

After she starts pouring into the new cup, cry. Proclaim through tears that you want to do it "all by himself."

(Expert level: get your mommy to pour it back in the carton to start over.)

Help pour "a lot. not little. a lot!" of milk. To the top, if you can. Over the top if you're quick. Don't fall for her trick of, "That IS a lot!" when it clearly is not. Keep going.

Whine until you get to put the cap back on the milk.

Snatch the lid from her hands to declare, "No mommy do lid!" Cry.

Slam lid onto full milk. As your mommy gets more paper towels, try again, this time squeezing the cup or tipping it for more leverage. Accidentally knock over cup in attempt to help or get out of the away.

Accept new cup of milk but refuse lid altogether.

Finally, take one sip, leave cup behind.

Ask your mommy for water.