How do you solve a problem like a toddler?

The G-man is 22 months old. The terrible twos are approaching. I can hear them sneaking up on us, complete with "Jaws" music playing in the background. Da-dum......da-dum......da-dum...da-dum...da-dum-da-dum-da-dum-da-dum, eek!

I've read the books, watched Supernanny, clicked the links on the daily toddler emails, talked to friends and what have I achieved? A boy that hits when he's frustrated, thinks it's funny to be in time-out, acts as though I'm speaking in a pitch only dolphins can hear when talking to him and has no problem turning into a thrashing maniac in 0.2 seconds.

The hitting, that sucks, for two reasons. First, he's hitting. Duh. Not nice. He hits me, his papa, the dog, cat and playmates. But only around us. For daycare/PDO he's an angel. Uh huh, go figure. The second reason is that I have to work harder. Now it's not just enough for me to keep an eye on him at play group or Gymboree; I have to be vigilant about watching that little arm go up and try to stop it before it comes down. Then I have to pull him aside, mention how it's unacceptable, try to get him to apologize and wonder what the magic words are to stop him from doing it again. Really puts a dent in our day...and my chatting with other mommies.

As for time-out, I think I just need to work a little harder on that. Maybe I'm rushing his release (I know he's not there for a minute like he should be, and soon it will have to be two minutes). Maybe the attention of me putting him there is what he wants anyway. No, he really wanted the stroller from Sophie. That's why he hit her. Right?

I will say that if it's an object involved, like throwing his train, one warning and taking the toy away seems to work. Doesn't prevent it from happening again yet but maybe it will in time. He may not be to the understanding consequence stage of maturity. At least it shows him I mean what I say and I don't give it back for a while.

And then there's the tantrums. The constant threat that strikes terror into any parent's heart. A sight and sound display that even Helen Keller would wince at. 

They actually don't bother me at home. (My god, is this my new normal?) I do feel bad when I've inadvertently done something to set him off and he's upset. Like moving his fork or breathing. At those times, he simply needs a safe environment and some private time to calm down. If he's on the floor, I just step over him and move on. It eventually ends.

In public, though, that's tough. I have to take into consideration other people that really may not have ventured outside their homes just to experience this. Letting him wail it out isn't really an option but I'll admit, I did it anyway at Target this week. For many, many aisles, he screamed, screeched and squirmed in the cart. We got 'the look' from shoppers and the 'may we help you find something (so you can get out of our store)' from staff. It may not be good parenting or good shopping etiquette, but desperate times call for pretending you don't hear it measures.

Our days are already filling up with other toddler warning signs: the same song in the car over and over and over again. And then again some more. Defcon  4 if his milk is in the wrong cup. Chernobyl over putting a shirt on. An attachment to a magazine page. The same word/thought expressed a million times in a row.

Those of you past this stage with your kiddos are probably thinking how much more is to come and chuckling to yourselves. And those of you that haven't reached it yet are probably thinking it won't happen to you. I'm guessing it's actually a unique experience for all of us. Here's to the ride.