Mr. Smartypants

News flash: two-olds are smart! Wait, you knew this already? Well, it's been a surprise to me.

It's not like the G-man is a genius. I mean, he still hasn't figured out to get his jacket off if the hood is up. He just struggles as he tries to shimmy his arms out while his head snaps back snug in the hood. Mensa does not yet have us on speed dial.

But I am still really amazed at how much kids his age know and learn. Am I the only one? Maybe if I had read the rest of my What to Expect: The Toddler Years, I would know what's coming/what's normal, but I see a flaw in their thinking because they expected me to have time to read it.

Take this evening: I was putting G-man to bed and reciting Big Red Barn after the lights were out (I'm not a genius either, but after 1000 readings, it's firmly planted in my head). What I didn't realize is that it's in G-man's head, too. Because as I was saying it, with no book in front of him or visual clues, he knew what was coming and started to recite parts of it with me. Not just repeating what I said, but doing it before I did. And he hasn't even heard it for at least two weeks. I guess I underestimate him, but I did not know a kid his age would do that. It's cool.

He's been doing more things like that lately, too, that just go beyond my expectations. He's spent 26 months riding backwards in the car, yet can identify where we are and where we might be going just from his limited view of the upper portions of the rear window. And I get still get lost with an address and navigation system.

In the rare moments where I'm allowed to sing, he treats me like a human jukebox, "Eraser song! Sister song! Sing railroad crossing!" The only problem is, sometimes there is no song for his topic of the day so I have to make it up on the fly. The next time he requests it, I don't always remember what I did during the last performance. But he does. And he reminds where I've messed up. Guess I should be flattered that he's paying so much attention to me?

He also knows when I've skipped a page in something we've only read a few times. He's memorized a book from the library that he has limited access to and even I forget. He knows when we pull into a parking garage that we parked there to see Santa in December (shouting, "No Santa!" from the back of the car; don't worry, Santa is probably in the caribbean right now). He knows what scene will be next in a video he hasn't watched that often. He remembers seemingly random things from random places that I never would have thought he'd noticed or cared to store in his mind.

And yes, this wonderment has been going on the whole time. For the first, oh, 34 years of my life I didn't like kids and kept myself in a self-imposed exile from all creatures short, sticky and simpering. So I'll admit, I knew nothing about the G-man going in.

It started when I was pregnant. Sure, I took some sort of class or seminar or something freshman year of high school that covered things like this, but I either missed a lot or it skipped a lot because I was truly astounded to learn how the wee thing was growing. Each weekly Babycenter email update told me something completely new about how far baby-to-be progresses each week and when the parts all come together. Maybe I was naive, but it was kind of like a special surprise each week to see what happened while I wasn't paying attention.

Fast forward to the real baby part and wow, who knew they could do this stuff so quickly?! When G-man was holding his head up and looking around during tummy time at just a few weeks old, I thought it was incredible. Never mind that other babies the same age were doing the same thing. I just wasn't expecting it. Each time he hit another milestone (big or small), it's like I got a present for a holiday I didn't know existed. I knew the milestones, just not that they'd come as fast as they do. They do so much so young and I was/am not ready.

*Side note: I will say this doesn't stop me from wondering why we seem to be the only species that is so helpless and dependent for so long. I'm pretty sure when the baby zebras popped out at the zoo, started walking and saw me pushing G-man in a stroller when he was already 6 months old, they giggled.

It's fascinating to see and be a part of. I think I like not knowing what's next on the developmental timeline. Learning that his current stage is to start forming clear memory and association with the world around him opens my eyes, too.

So if you're a seasoned mom - or just have been paying attention to human progress - and know when more exciting things will happen way before I thought they were supposed to, keep it to yourself and don't spoil my surprise!